Text Box: I am writing on this subject because I believe the Devil has a multitude of people blinded concerning the truth of salvation. The Bible makes it clear in II Corinthians 4:4: "In whom the god of this world hath blinded the minds of them which believe not, lest the light of the glorious gospel of Christ, who is the image of God, should shine unto them." A blinded mind is not able to understand or not willing to understand. The Bible also says in Matt. 7:13, ". . . for wide is the gate and broad is the way, that leadeth to destruction, and many there be which go in thereat." I am convinced that there are a lot of people in our churches who simply profess salvation but do not possess salvation. The reason is because of blindness. I say that because I experienced blindness for fifteen years. On February 19, 1984 as a seventeen year old teenager, I walked the aisle of the Victory Baptist Church in East Prairie, Missouri, and made a profession of faith. My life changed that night. My attitude changed, my desires changed, and even my thoughts changed. Everyone that knew me knew, without a doubt, that my life changed. Prior to this I had spent five years of my life in sin and rebellion against God and authority. Those were precious years that I wasted on the world and the Devil. The Bible says in Num. 32:23, ". . . and be sure your sin will find you out." Also in Heb. 11:25 it says, "Choosing rather to suffer affliction with the people of God, than to enjoy the pleasure of sin for a season." I found out through personal experience the reality of these verses. I reached rock bottom and knew that I needed a change in my life. I was tired of sin and the world and needed God. I made some decisions at that point and began the process of changing. I changed where I lived, my friends, my habits, and my ways. God used the place where I lived, my parents, and the people in our church to accomplish this. I started reading my Bible, praying, and witnessing. I did all the things a newborn Christian is supposed to do. The things of God became a priority in my life. I became active in our church. I was one of the leaders in our youth group. Many of them looked to me for guidance and counsel. In April of 1984 I felt a call on my life to preach. I didn’t hesitate but surrendered and have been preaching ever since that day. I later went to Bible College and graduated in 1990 with a degree in Theology. Since that time I have worked with youth, bus routes, Sunday School, Christian School, preached at youth camps, led people to Christ, and have pastored for the past 2½ years. But what I have failed to tell you is that since day one of my profession in 1984, I have doubted my salvation. In the first couple years it really bothered me and I talked with my parents and a few preachers about it. They would always question me about my salvation experience and give me assurance verses. To be honest, everything looked alright in my eyes. I would feel some peace and go on in my life. But it wouldn't last. I still had doubts. I was told it was the Devil making me doubt. So, I would claim verses and go on. The last thing I wanted to do was to give into the doubting. My attitude was, "It's the Devil and I am not going to give into him." Jn. 8:44: "Ye are of your father the Devil and the lust of your father ye will do. He was a murder from the beginning, abode not in truth, because there is no truth in him. When he speaketh a lie, he speaketh of his own: for he is a liar, and the father of it." If you are truly lost, the Devil will not keep telling you that you are lost. Why? Because he is a liar and there is no truth in him. He can’t tell the truth and even if he could, he wouldn't keep telling you you are lost. If he did, he knows that you would do something about it. While in college in 1987, I made another profession of faith. It brought some peace, but it didn’t last. The reason was, that the cause for my doubting was never identified. I remember the worker taking me through the plan of salvation, and then having me pray and ask the Lord to save me. I tried to forget my other experience and claim this as my day of salvation. It worked for awhile, but it wasn’t long before the doubts came back. The reason for the doubting must be identified before the truth can be revealed. It’s the truth that sets us free. Not our profession of faith, a prayer, a preacher telling you that your saved, an emotional experience, or our works. It's the TRUTH! (JN. 8:32) It didn’t matter what I did in my life, read my Bible, pray, witness, preach, or study, I couldn’t seem to conquer these doubts. They were not always consistent, but they were consistent enough to know that there was a problem. Eventually, the doubts became more intense. They started affecting my sleep and other areas of my life. I look back now and I see many times when God was convicting my heart, but I just blamed it on the Devil and went on. The fact is God was just being good to me as He was trying to show me the truth. The Bible says in Rom. 2:4: ". . . the goodness of God leadeth thee to repentance." I received a book in the mail entitled, Spiritual Crutches. It was written by Bro. Edgar Lee Paschall, who had been a church member for twenty-six years and a preacher for eight years. He shared how he had always doubted his salvation; until God showed him he was lost and he got saved. He was leaning on spiritual crutches to hold him up for all those years. I read that book and it brought conviction to my heart. At first I put it down and told myself, "That’s his experience," but I found myself reading it again. God used that book to get me searching. Jn.5:39 says, "Search the scriptures for in them ye think ye have eternal life. . ." I began to do this and some of the same verses that I had used many times before in my preaching and witnessing began to speak to me personally. Finally, I had all I could take and I told God for the first time, "If it's you that is causing this doubt, show me," and Oh! how He did. The doubts came like never before. God made it clear to me that it was He that was causing doubt in my heart. Even after this, I still wasn’t completely convinced, so I went on another day. The Jews asked Jesus in Jn. 10:24 ". . . How long dost thou make us to doubt?. . ." In my case it was for fifteen years. II Pet. 3:9: "The Lord is not slack concerning his promise, as some men count slackness; but is longsuffering to us-ward, not willing that any should perish, but that all should come to repentance." I began preparing a message for Sunday morning. I remembered something that I had read in that book about salvation's ingredients. I took that thought and I prepared a message on "The Ingredients of Salvation." While I was preaching that message, God showed me the answer to my doubts and the missing ingredient in my salvation experience. It’s as if God took His finger and pointed it out to me and said, "There it is." Here is my outline that I preached. THE INGREDIENTS OF SALVATION I. Ingredient #1 - The Word of God - Rom. 10:14-17, Jn. 5:24 II. Ingredient #2 -The Work of the Holy Spirit (three - fold) A. Reproves (convicts) - Jn. 16:8-13 B. Repentance - it's a change of mind and attitude about sin, which is a work of the Holy Spirit. - 2 Cor. 7:10, Acts 20:21, Mk. 1:15 C. Receive (Repentance comes first then we receive) - Rom. 10:9-10 III. Ingredient #3 - The Witness of the Holy Spirit - I Jn. 3:24, 4:13, 5:10 Later I went to my office and went back in my mind, like I had done many times before, to February 19, 1984 and I saw it for the first time. The Lord showed me that I came to Him that night, but failed to receive Him. Since that day I have had a heart of unbelief. My life changed that night, but my heart didn’t. I remember the Word of God was preached. I was under conviction. I walked the aisle. I kneeled at the altar and someone prayed with me. Then I was asked if I was saved, and I said, "Yes." But I really didn’t know why I came or what I needed to do. I knew something happened because I felt a change in my life. I considered this to be salvation. I walked the aisle under conviction desiring for God to change my life, but I left without receiving Him. Acts 8:30-31: ". . Philip said, understandest what Thou readest? And he said, how can I except Some man should guide me?" The reason I failed to receive the Lord that night is, I lacked understanding. I was not guided to a saving knowledge of Jesus Christ. Many make false professions of faith because they were not guided properly, thus opening the door for Satan to work. Matt.13:19: "When one heareth the word of the kingdom, and understandeth it not, then cometh that wicked one, and catcheth away that which was sown in his heart. . ." Eph. 4:27: "Neither give place to the Devil." That night the door was left open for Satan to cause deception and blindness. I am convinced that I could have and would have gotten saved that night, if only I had been guided. But I cannot dwell on what could have happened. Rom. 8:28: "And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose." I know this to be true, for God, even in the midst of my blindness, has been good to me. Finally, on Sunday, February 7, at 1:15 P.M. I got on my knees in my office and turned my Bible to Rom. 10:9-10: "That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised him from the dead, thou shalt be saved. For with the heart man believeth unto righteousness and with the mouth confession is made unto salvation." I told the Lord, "I now believe and receive." I can’t describe to you the peace that I felt in my heart and still feel to this day. Rom. 5:1: "Therefore being justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ." Isaiah 32:17: "And the work of righteousness shall be peace and the effect of righteousness quietness and assurance for ever and ever." I knew what God started in my life fifteen years ago, He completed that day. It’s as if I came to the door, but failed to enter. God has been trying to get me back to that place for fifteen years. I had peace and assurance in my heart like I had never had before. It was REAL! The next step was one of the hardest things that I have ever had to do. I needed to make it public. The Devil fought this, but I knew that I had to do it to make it right in my heart and in God's eyes. Matt. 10:32: "Whosoever therefore shall confess me before men, him will I confess also before my father which is in heaven." Rom. 1:16: "For I am not ashamed of the gospel of Christ: for it is the power of God unto salvation to every one that believeth. . ." I first told my wife. She was shocked. I had never revealed to her about these doubts. She asked why I never told her? I told her that I always thought it was the Devil and I never wanted to give in to him. I explained it to her just the way God showed me. We discussed the need to share it with the church. We agreed that night would be the time to do it. My attitude was the sooner the better. It might have been easier if I had never made a profession of faith or if I was just a church member, but when you're the pastor and God reveals to you what He revealed to me, that's harder. God helped me and used it that night. I pray He will continue to use it for His Glory. There is a lot that I can’t explain about God's call on my life, how He has used me, and how He has lead me to this point. I have learned not to question God. Rom. 11:33 says, ". . . His ways are past finding out." I must confess that there is a lot I don’t know, but I do know that I’m saved. I’m where God wants me to be, and God has called me to preach. I believe God has always had a call on my life. Jer. 1:15: "Before I formed thee in the belly I knew thee; and before thou camest forth out of the womb I sanctified thee, and I ordained thee a prophet unto the nations." Gal. 1:15: "But when it pleased God, who separated me from my mothers womb, and called me by his grace." The fact is, I came to Him that night, but I failed to receive the Lord, thus resulting in an unbelieving heart. Others have never been changed by the power of God. That’s why they are still carrying around the same burden of sin. Jn. 1:12: "But as many as received him, to them gave he power to become the sons of God, even to them that believe on his name." II Cor. 5:17: "Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new." The Bible teaches us that one dosen’t have to change to be saved. If that were true it would be salvation by works, but the fact is once a person is saved, God will change them. II Cor. 7:10: "For godly sorrow worketh repentance to salvation." Regardless of the case, blindness of the mind is the result of a person that is lost and the end will be an eternity in hell unless they repent and receive the Lord Jesus Christ. Acts 20:21: ". . . repentance toward God, and faith toward our Lord Jesus Christ." Mk. 1:15 ". . . repent ye, and believe the gospel." I Cor. 15:1-4: "Morever, brethren, I declare unto you the gospel which I preached unto you, which also ye have received, and wherein ye stand; by which also ye are saved, if ye keep in memory what I preached unto you, unless ye have believed in vain. For I delivered unto you first of all that which I also received, how that Christ died for our sins according to the scriptures; and that he was buried, and that he rose again the third day according to the scriptures." A lot of people say they believe in Jesus Christ, but all they have is intellectual faith, belief in facts. Saving faith is a gift of God that comes through hearing the Word of God and by the work of the Holy Spirit. Rom. 10:17: "So then faith cometh by hearing, and hearing by the word of God." It’s easy for us to tell someone, "just believe," but the problem is they can’t believe until God gives them the ability to believe. When God does this, they will KNOW IT! John 14:17: "And I will pray the father, and he shall give you another Comforter, that he may abide with you forever; even the Spirit of truth; whom the world cannot receive, because it seeth him not, neither knoweth him. . ." Once God gave me the ability to believe, it was easy to believe and receive the Lord Jesus Christ. In John chapter 9, Jesus healed a man who had been blind from his birth. The Jews questioned him in verse 18, "But the Jews did not believe concerning him, that had been blind, and received his sight. . ." but notice what he said in verse 25, ". . . one thing I know, that whereas I was blind, now I see." For those who might question my experience, and I’m sure there are many who will, all I can say is, "I was blind, but now I see." If you also realize, that you are blinded to the truth of salvation, I encourage you to get honest with yourself and with God. The Bible says in Rev. 21:8, ". . . and unbelievers. . . shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone. . ." It’s time to junk your pride and pleasure. Nothing or no one is worth dying and going to Hell for. If I could be of any help to you, please contact me, Pastor Steve Johnson, anytime at (573) 649-5689 or (573) 649-3508. Until He Comes,    Steven A. Johnson Text Box: Personal Testimony Of Steven A. Johnson